You Left, We Stayed

Maybe I'm blogging too much during the study week, but I just had to say something about this. Just in case the article gets pulled off the net, I'm pasting it here. Hope I'm not infringing any copyright laws though.

You left, we stayed

BY PATRICIA JOHN

I REECIVED the e-mail last week – Thursday, was it? – and I'm still hopping mad. I thought I'd feel better with a little sea air over the weekend. But no, I was wrong. I'm still mad.

Why is it that people who leave this country – choose to go away – always feel that they need to send us stuff about things that are happening here? It's like they feel we don't know. Duh. We live here.

Like my cousin sending me stuff about our last prime minister. Duh – again. We know already. We have newspapers. We have the Internet. Heck, we even have our own satellite in space-lah.

Remember your double storey semi-dee that was air-conditioned? And your Volvo and your chauffeur and the good life you left behind? The good life that allowed you to save so much money and start again somewhere else?

But I digress.

So, from this great and privileged place where they are, they send us stuff of how bad things are in this land where WE choose to live.

My question is this: Are you saying that your Howard is so great? Is he clean and just and honest? Is he intelligent and farsighted and doing everything right for Australia? Or perhaps your ideal is George W. Bush or Tony Blair? Words fail me when I try to go there!

So what exactly are these ex-Malaysians saying when they send us stuff that is so anti-Malaysia? That we are suckers for still living here? That we should be packing our bags too and high-tailing it to Australia or the United States or England or Canada?

Or are they saying, “See, we were right to leave. It is so bad in your country. We are so smart, not like you, so bodoh, and still sticking it out there where it is so gawd-awful!”

Ok, want to know why I love it here?

Because I belong here. I am Malaysian. My roots are half Indian and half Sri Lankan. My husband's are Chinese. I feel normal here. I walk around and I see people just like me. And I feel comfortable.

I own a house in town and another by the sea – and we are NOT rich Malaysians by any standard.

And as I sit and write this, I am tuned in to Astro and am listening to the most fascinating jazz in Spanish. Later, my daughter will come home and tune in to MTV and I'll leave the room because if I hear one more word in the Laguna Beach accent I will have to hurt someone!

When I feel like it, I will go to the gym down the road, about 20 minutes away. Otherwise, I'll go online and surf and find out why idiots are killing each other in Israel and Lebanon. Or I'll move on to more interesting things like Nigella's to-die-for chocolate pudding recipe. That's because the last time I checked, “they” have not censored the Internet in Malaysia yet!

Hello, relatives and friends in Australia and other places in the world, it is really quite nice here. We are really happy. No, the papers don't lie and feed us with hogwash, any more than they do in your country of choice. And even we know how to read between the lines. Yes, they actually taught us that in school.

Speaking of school: as you have bemoaned, most of the classes are in Malay. But hey, this IS Malaysia, and we should at least know how to read, speak and write in our national language. After all, they speak French in France, don't they? And German in Germany, no? Why they all so mundur and don't teach in English in their schools, ah?

I respect the choices people make. I respect their need to leave this land and go find their fortunes elsewhere. It's in our genes anyway – we're the offspring of people who left China and India and came here. I'll understand when my children say they want to work in Canada and Europe and the United States. I understand the need to go seek new things and learn how the rest of the world lives.

But I also understand that paradise is where you make it. Running to another land is not where it's going to be. It is here: with the man you love, your daughter, your son, your dogs; with your mum and your wonderful sisters; with your lovely home and garden and with your friends.

If you know who you are and what you want, then you will be happy. There's no need to fly away. Listen with your heart and you will find it's been here all along, and you never knew. I've always known. Always. And life is good.

Firstly, my thoughts on the article.

It's a good piece, and summed up pretty much what I feel right now. But having said that however, there are some things that I do not agree with.

My question is this: Are you saying that your Howard is so great? Is he clean and just and honest? Is he intelligent and farsighted and doing everything right for Australia? Or perhaps your ideal is George W. Bush or Tony Blair? Words fail me when I try to go there!

If this is the author's way of dealing with the bad leadership of this country, then it's a very poor one. Comparing our wrongs with a larger wrong doesn't exactly make us right does it?

No, the papers don't lie and feed us with hogwash, any more than they do in your country of choice.

I really hope she's being sarcastic here.

Speaking of school: as you have bemoaned, most of the classes are in Malay. But hey, this IS Malaysia, and we should at least know how to read, speak and write in our national language. After all, they speak French in France, don't they? And German in Germany, no? Why they all so mundur and don't teach in English in their schools, ah?

If you ask me, English should be made the medium of instruction in schools for two reasons. One, English is the international language. Two, we need a common language that can bond us together without anyone complaining that the language chosen favors any one particular race.

You know what, scratch that medium of instruction thing. Come to think of it, English should be made the national language instead.

Now my thoughts about Malaysia.

During lunch yesterday, Rohene mentioned it was ironic that a person like me who makes all sort of snide remarks about Malaysia being a police state should join the Police Volunteer Corps. My reply? Things have to be changed. That someone has to start that change somewhere.

And you know what? I actually felt proud of myself for saying that. Proud because of the way the reply came off my tongue so easily and proud because just two years ago I would have said the situation was hopeless and cannot be changed. I guess the PVR really was an really eye opening experience. After all the bad publicity about the RMP (and the jokes, especially those involving policemen and bribes) it is just heartening to know that there are still good men left in the force. There was the disciplinarian Corporal Yaakob who embodies the very ideal of integrity. And then there was Corporal Arifin who never stopped stressing again and again that with power comes responsibility; even telling me once personally that the force needed more young Chinese recruits like me.

You see, it is people like them who made me realize that maybe there is hope after all. That if you look hard enough, you will find individuals who just like you, want to see a better Malaysia for all of us. Which brings me back to the article. To why my own countrymen would rather flee than fight. To why people from my own so-called race would choose to condemn English speakers like me and then send their children to the west hoping they will never return.

I remember almost two years ago, I was having a chat with a Recom.org member and Aussie graduate at A Rahman. I remembered him telling me that despite all the problems with our country, the grass may not necessarily be greener on the other side of the fence. To this, I told him that what he said may be true, but I won't believe him until I see it for myself.

I remember also a few months back, when I was chatting with Tharan online. That was before the SIA interview and I told him that if I ever become a pilot, I will return one day to fly with MAS, the national carrier; the airline I grew up with admiring as a kid. He told me, almost sarcastically, that I would probably be a hero of sorts if I ever did that, quitting a successful company and joining a sinking ship.

Well I know for sure right now I will never see the grass on the other side of the fence. Nor will I ever fly. Yes, it's a curse to be poor and stupid. But still, the words they have said continue to hold some meaning to me. Maybe we do need heroes after all. Heroes who are willing to return after sampling the green, green grass overseas to make a change back in their homeland. Heroes who will help make our grass just as green as theirs, if not greener.

Yes, I long for the day when we won't have to tell our children to leave the country because it doesn't appreciate you.

I long for the day when we won't have to scrimp and save (or tell our kids to score more than 10A1s) to send them overseas for a better education because ours isn't good enough.

I long for the day when a father does not have to tell his son he can't join the military because he will be discriminated against by the majority race.

I long for the day when people from other countries will tell their children to go to Malaysia because that's where the milk, honey and greener grass lie.

But that all that isn't going to happen if we keep leaving. All that isn't going to happen if we keep abandoning the ship without even trying to save it. All that will only happen if we don't flee. It's time we stayed.

The sad thing is, it took me so many failures to realize that. Guess you only start seeing things from a different perspective after life dishes out the worst to you. After you have your back against the wall and realize you have nowhere else to go.

And finally, to anyone who has made it this far in reading this entry, congratulations. I know it's not easy to bear with me.

God bless Malaysia. My country. My home.

Now excuse me while I go yell at the sky.